Forgotten Wisdom

I had a thought today. One which I considered worthy of recording upon this testament to the glory of the spork. I nearly wrote it down at the time, but I did not. I thought I would remember. But alas, that thought escapes me, and thus you are deprived of that pearl of wisdom I had summoned up from the depths of my mind.

Don't worry, though. It was probably just some stupid crap. However, I am annoyed to have forgotten it nonetheless.

Bdarpn, the content-less word.

I've heard it said that more of what we mean when we speak is conveyed by tone than by the literal meaning of the words we say. People will say "okay" or "fine" to mean many different things, and we must consider tone and context provide differentiation of meaning.

So, why not have a word that has no meaning by itself at all? In this way, we can actively inform the listener not to mind the literal meaning of the word, for there is none.

Well, now there is such a word, and it is bdarpn. It is pronounced, "bid darr pen".

You Shouldn't Hate People for Silly Reasons

BOB generally likes people who are different from him, as long as they don't eat with spoons.

Touched Your Face, It's Over!

"Touched your face, it's over", is the title, catchphrase, and only rule of the game, "touched your face, it's over."

It's the ONLY rule. You can make treaties and gentleman's agreements with other players, but these are not extra rules. They're just something you do on the side, completely unofficial.

Seahorses

I have a friend who speaks English as a third or fourth language. He speaks very well, but on rare occasions he makes mistakes which can be hilarious, like in this story:

I was sitting at home, doing something on the computer. It was a hot day and I hadn't opened the window. He came in, clapped me on the back, and said, "It smells like seahorses in here!" I had no idea what he meant. He was as confused as I was that I didn't get it. We tried to figure out what me meant, then gave up.

Hours later, at dinner or something, he suddenly looked up from his phone and declared "OH! I meant hippopotamus!" He had recently been to the zoo and was trying to tell me I smelled bad.

So now, the gym is the seahorse workshop. Concert halls with smelly fans are seahorse castles. Smelly locations in general can be termed seahorse palaces.

Never eat a seahorse with a spork.

Seahorses are our friends. Never eat a seahorse with a spork.

Man With Fork Bracelet

I saw a guy with a fork bent into a bracelet. It was pretty awesome. I did, however, inform him that it would've been cooler if it were a spork. He had no choice but to agree.

Is the heresy of the fork better or worse than oblivious disregard for the power of utensils?

Spork Poetry

The Spork, true beauty,
the tines, the bowl, the long stem
life now is complete

Source: http://www.sonic.net/~ian/Spork/spork.poems.html

Product Review: Wii

I've had a Nintendo Wii for just over a week now, and I like it. It works well, it's fun, and it has cool features.

The Book of Bob, Chapter 4

The Great Bobland

People unholy to Bob are not able to grasp the power of Bobland. Millions upon millions of Bobs lived in a place that totally Bob and is wonderfully Bob.

In the center of Bobland there is an enormous mall where every store is entitled Bob. For instance, the Nudy Bob, The Bob, Bob's Auto Repairs, Bob's Store. This is a place where normal Bobs roam free.

Around the mall lies the downtown district, known simply as Bob. In the center of downtown, there is the world's largest spork manufacturing company, located conveniently next to the company is the helicopter-ejection seat test area, which is so large anyone who went in there never came out. The rebuilt llama farms (see chapter VI) and dead cow farms are not far away.

The first All-Powerful, All-Knowing Bob built an aluminum foil shack just outside the downtown district. It has since been made into a monument, and is the central site of all pilgrimages to Bobland.

Outside the downtown district is a suburban area known as Bob.

The Balalaika Super

The Balalaika Super is a pizza from Round Table Pizza topped with onions, garlic, pineapple and jalapenos.

Project Euler

projecteuler.net

It's a set of math puzzles, to be solved by computer programming. I'm using it to learn Python.

The world ended recently.

Judgement day was May 21, 2011. You might say to me, "But the world is still here!", but you would be wrong. You made the mistake of trusting physical evidence. You should have faith and disregard what your eyes tell you about the world, because your senses can be deceived.

Perhaps you've seen billboards that say the bible guarantees that judgement day was May 21. When it comes down to a choice between what the bible says and empirical observations of the natural world, shouldn't you always choose the bible? It was written by god! The bible says so!

Once you learn to adopt this logic, many other helpful biblical concepts, including creationism, will come to you easily.