Bob IX: The Twelve Commandments

Chapter IX
The Twelve Commandments
After witnessing the rebellion, The Great Bob decided to give Bobs everywhere some laws to live by or die horribly and painfully by in a great expanse of bloody crusades for. (See Christianity) These have become known as the Bob Commandments. A brief list follows:
1. A LLAMA IN THE HAND IS WORTH TWO IN THE BUSH
2. THOU SHALT NOT BUY THIS BOOK
3. THOU SHALT NOT TRUST BLUE ALIENS, ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY ARE PINK
4. THOU SHALL MAKE ONE HOLY PILGRIMAGE TO THE LAND OF BOB
5. THE AUTHORS OF THIS BOOK ARE EXTREMELY EVIL
6. THOU SHALT NOT USE BOB'S NAME IN VAIN
7. THOU SHALT NOT HAVE YOUR BOB AND EAT IT TOO
8. THOU SHALT EAT ALL YOUR MEALS WITH SPORKS
9. THOU SHALT SAY, "THE SIXTH SHEIK'S SIXTH SHEEP IS SICK" 10 TIMES FAST
10. THOU SHALT NOT KNOWINGST. THEREFORE, HASBEEN, CONSIENCOUSLY, HENCEFORTH, ART THOU FORSAKENESS?
12. THERE IS NO ELEVENTH COMMANDMENT.
As the newly appointed The Bob read these commandments, the people cheered; for they knew then they had 12 utterly useless rules to live by.